Happy Holidays!

Yeah, there's not going to be much in the way of posting while I'm busy doing home-for-break things, including but not limited to Christmas, New Years, babysitting, and general goofing off (I feel I've earned that much). Posts shall resume as scheduled (or whatever it was we had that was somewhat schedule-like) when I return to routine and grad school in a week (or sooner if I get bored I suppose). In the meantime, Happy Whatever-It-Is-You-Have-Celebrated-Or-Will-Be-Celebrating-In-The-Near-Future!

Robin Hood vs. King Arthur: The Final Showdown (among other things)

Before I get into the second and final round of our legend battle (which I know has been keeping everybody on the edge of their seats!), this needs to be shared with the world, because it's just so darn cute in that cavity-inducing kind of way:

Don't be smiling by the end, I dare you

But if you're one of those that can't handle too much niceness, there's always the world's most disturbing holiday peanut commercial (not a very populated category, but it doesn't change the fact):

Yep. I can now sense demented nutcrackers going for my head when I'm sufficiently sleep deprived.

Also, in the world of the Hunger Games movie, Gary Ross is to be the movie's director. He's the guy that brought us Seabiscuit, but otherwise hasn't really done much of anything. Suzanne Collins seems to like him, which is a good sign, but time shall tell. Now that a director has been chosen, a casting director and subsequently, a cast, is only a matter of time. Here's hoping they don't go with Kristen Stewart. 

Ok, now onto the moment you've all been waiting for (or perhaps not, but here it is anyway): Robin Hood vs King Arthur, Round 2-Movies.

Here's a doozie. Just like there have been crap tons of King Arthur books, both terrible and great, there have been tons of King Arthur movies....mostly just terrible. Robin Hood, on the other hand, has a bit more of a 50/50 chance of getting a decent movie. Let's start with the obvious, the Disney incarnation. King Arthur had the classic Sword in the Stone, which focused on Arthur's childhood and training with Merlin.

It all looks so magical and pretty!

Too bad it's anticlimactic (oh yeah, spoiler alert, I suppose). It's technically based off of TH White's version of the story, including all of Merlin's more magical lessons that required being transformed into various animals that don't have kingdoms or something like that. Of course, Disney being Disney, they took a few....artistic licenses? Hey, everybody else who read The Once and Future King, I have a question:

Do you remember her? No? Me either...

I can only assume she's supposed to be Morgan LeFay or something....oh good lord. Now, granted, I didn't grow up with this one, somehow it slipped under my radar and I didn't think to watch it until a year or so ago, so maybe it just wasn't enough for my inner child. Or maybe it just wasn't that good. But it seems to me that the only part of this movie that really lasted was it's depiction of Merlin. You don't see little Arthur in Kingdom Hearts, do you? No. You know who shows up? Merlin. (It all seems to keep coming back to him, doesn't it?). 

Ok, Robin Hood's turn. This movie I DID grow up with, what with all of it's anthropomorphic animals robbing each other and whatnot.

Oh, the memories!

So, of course Disney had to take some liberties with this one as well, but I feel like it didn't take nearly as many, except for the ending (another spoiler alert, they never actually get married according to a lot of versions. Sorry Robin!). Perhaps the minstrel rooster was unnecessary, but you have to admit those songs were catchy, or am I the only one who can instantly recall the tune to "oo-de-lally oo-de-lally, golly what a day"? 

And maybe I'm just biased towards this movie as opposed to Sword in the Stone, but what the heck, it's my blog and that's my right dangit! I say Robin Hood wins the Disney movie. But what about all those other movies?

Thanks to Mark Twain's book A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Hollywood has been asking what would happen if various modern day people found themselves in Medieval Camelot. And asking. And asking. And asking some more. We get it, alright? Modern day technology+medieval culture=InstaWizard (just don't let Merlin catch you!). So you know what? I'm just going to skip all those. There were a lot and they were mostly dumb. There was that newest King Arthur movie titles, you guessed it, King Arthur. Remember? That one with Kiera Knightly and some other people? Ok, like a bad nerd, I haven't seen it yet, though it is on my list. Although I have to say that the reviews did not seem astounding, so I have my doubts. 

I already expressed how underwhelmed I was with Russell Crowe's Robin Hood. He's just too darn old and grizzled. 

I feel like that image would work better with a burning skyscraper behind him and a machine gun instead of a bow and arrow in his hands. And also an eye patch. And a lit cigarette in his mouth. So it's not like he's a pansy or unfit for the outlaw role, he just doesn't seem the medieval outlaw type. Therefore the movie was interesting enough in it's own right, what with the political intrigue and sword fights, it just wasn't really a Robin Hood movie. You know what it was missing? A tournament. Robin Hood must win an archery tournament in disguise or else it's just an incomplete movie. And I'm pretty sure this one didn't have a tournament. If it did, it was just THAT uninteresting. 

Then there's the always fantastically awful Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. That's already been demolished in full by the Sugary Cynic, so I suggest you go read it if you haven't already. Or go get a refresher. It's ok, I'll still be here when you get back. Ok, back now? Pretty terrible, right? But it's because of Prince of Thieves that Carey Elwes graced us with Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which is just always entertaining to watch and great for so many reasons, not least of which include Patrick Stewart playing King Richard and a subtle-ish Abbot and Costello reference. 

Ok, So far the movie score is King Arthur: 0, Robin Hood: 2, but we owe our legendary king a few more movie chances. Hey! How about that one, First Knight, starring Sean Connery as King Arthur! You know, because he's Scottish, and Scotland is on the British Islands, so it counts, right?

Oh, right, he's old enough to make me cheer Guenevere on towards Lancelot myself (Sorry Sean, nothing personal, you just needed more roles with leading ladies who didn't look like they could be your daughter...or granddaughter, for pete's sake). Also, most of the costumes looked like bad sci-fi movie leftovers. Just sayin.

Oh hey! Remember that not so great book from round one, that one by Meg Cabot? Well Disney channel made it into a movie! Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hey, her books may be subpar, but they can make a decent movie out of them. Princess Diaries was lovable, right? So maybe it's just one of those things where she translates better onto film than page?" Yeah, probably not. I couldn't bring myself to watch it the first time around, and since Disney doesn't seem to be cramming it down it's viewers throats, it must not have been all that successful. But then, it's just a tv movie, sooooo......

So for the movie round, Robin Hood is the victor! Both have had terrible movies, but at least Robin Hood had some more lovable ones. But wait! With King Arthur winning round 1, Robin Hood winning round 2, it's a tie! That means it's time for

SUDDEN DEATH!

Where we have the two legends face off, mano y mano, one final fight to the death! *cue fanfare and whatnot*

So, who would win in a fight? Robin could pick off Arthur from a distance with his sharp shooting skills, no contest. But that's boring. Robin Hood was supposed to be a expert swordsman as well as marksman, so we'll say that both contestants are limited to steel and steel alone. In this case, as long as Arthur has his magical sword of cheating death in battle (Excalibur, duh), Robin has no chance. But what if this is post-Guenevere/Lancelot affair? Then our brave king has no will or spirit left, so he's dead, sword or no sword. But you know, it's the other characters that make each legend what it is, so let's bring them in too. Arthur had his Knights of the Round Table (minus Lancelot, let's say), all pretty much undefeated in battle, all pretty much walking tin cans (have you seen those suits of armor? What would it take to just push them down a hill?). Robin Hood's Merry Men have speed and stealth on their side (plus Little John's massiveness, Will Scarlet's knife prowess, and Friar Tuck's, you know, Catholic Church) and are infinitely more nimble without all that armor. I'm going to say that if this was the final lineup, Robin Hood would win. BUT! Who's King Arthur's favorite trump card? MERLIN! If he's not trapped in his cave yet. In that case, Robin has no chance. None. It's over. No contest. Unless Morgan LeFay joined Robin for some reason...but that's just ridiculous. 

I guess that means that, with the old sorceror, King Arthur pulls ahead. Without, however, Robin Hood destroys Arthur, most likely with a hand tied behind his back. So if Arthur's victory is dependent solely on Merlin's influence (I mean, all the best Arthur-related stories and movies, and also that one tv show, are only the best because of Merlin), is it really a victory for Arthur, or just for Merlin? Food for thought. 

Ok, I need to sleep, but in the meantime, I'd say this sums most of Arthur's...Arthurness nicely. 

If you'd like to see any other face-off's, do tell, and I'll see what I can dig up. Tune in next time for some more average nerdiness!

Sheldon: "Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side! Bazinga!" ~Big Bang Theory

Robin Hood vs. King Arthur; Part 1

Don't tell me you never wondered who would win. Ok, honestly, neither have I. But as I sit here and watch Russel Crowe's "resurrection" of Robin Hood and am reminded of Disney's attempt to make King Arthur relate-able or whatever, I have to wonder who's been dealt a crappier hand thus far. So let's see what happens when we pit the two legendary greats and their successes and failures in the media against each other.

Round 1: Literature!

Admittedly, I haven't read nearly as many Robin Hood books as I have King Arthur books, take from that what you will. King Arthur as we know him first showed up in Geoffrey of Monmouth's "History of the Kings of Britain," circa 1130AD. Lancelot's love triangle and the never-ending quest for the Holy Grail was thrown in later thanks to Chretien de Troyes in the 12 century (and not Monty Python, thank you very much). The most popular modern rendition of Arthur's legend probably belongs to T. H. White and his novel The Once and Future King. That said, myriad of spinoffs, retellings, spoofs, and parodies have been written to resurrect the fabled king, both good and terrible. Among the terrible: 

Looks promising, doesn't it?

Avalon High by Meg Cabot (yeah, the Princess Diaries Meg Cabot. Makes sense now, eh?), which tries so very hard to recreate the realm of King Arthur in a modern day highschool. The story is told from the perspective of a typical highschool girl heroine, a shy, softspoken, girl with self esteem issues who is supposed to be the reincarnation of the Lady of Shallot. Eventually, new Arthur's life can only be saved from new Mordred after the betrayal of new Guinevere and new Lancelot by the love offered by new Elaine of Shallot. In general, Meg Cabot surprised me with her attention to detail, finding ways to modernize every aspect of the original legend in a somewhat acceptable manner. At the very least, it was a book that both I and my tweenage-opposite-of-me-in-every-way sister could enjoy. Up until that last bit, the whole "Arthur needs to fall in love with the Lady in the Lake.....because I said so?" part. First of all, I don't think anyone ever suggested that Elaine of Shallot and the Lady of the Lake were the same person. In fact, I think most legends agree that the Lady was Morgan LeFay. So there. Second, the Lady of Shallot had a thing for Lancelot, or a knight that is generally believed to have been Lancelot, according to Tennyson's epic poem. But then again, it was Meg Cabot...(remember this for round 2!)

On the flip side, a less obvious reincarnation was skillfully done in "Tomorrow's Magic" by Pamela F. Service.

It was the two-headed dog that sold me

This one takes place in a post-apocalyptic England, during the slow receding of a nuclear winter. Turns out that history really can go in circles, as future England finds itself in the same kind of medieval warring state it was in the first time Arthur came along. Only instead of an arthurian re-birth, this book plays on the fact that enough mystery shrouds King Arthur's death to make whatever you want of it. In this case, Arthur has been recuperating for thousands of years from a near-mortal injury in Avalon, a place that doesn't follow a conventional time stream, of course! I liked this book better because I was much more willing to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the story. Also, because Merlin shows up, and doggonit I'm a sucker for the old sorcerer. 

Now, for Robin's side of the story (hehehe, pun....oh, shut up!). In general, his story is more exciting. I mean he's deadly with a bow and arrow and robs from the rich to aid the poor (hey, he was the first Democrat! Bazinga!). Our favorite outlaw first showed up in various ballads and such around 1370AD. Robin Hood continued to appear in adventures of his own, the bulk of which turned into the collective tales of Robin Hood and his Band of Merry Men outwitting the Sheriff of Nottingham with the help of Friar Tuck that we all know today. However, after Howard Pyle's The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood, nothing else really showed up. At least, nothing to compare to the onslaught of King Arthur stories. I have yet to see a modern day retelling...

Oh yeah...aside from him

Well, Robin Hood gets a DC Comic series and a trilogy of rather fantastic books by Stephen Lawhead, Hood, Scarlet, and Tuck (which offer a believable backstory and such), but other than that....nuthin. That said, I'm going to have to say that King Arthur wins the Success in Literature round. Sure, he has some really terrible stories, but he has just as many great ones, and overall, it's still more than poor Robin of Loxley can claim. Maybe he can pull forward next time in Round 2: Movies!

Who needs a turkey when there are dragons??

Happy Turkey Day, Internet! And what better way to celebrate this classic American holiday than with the time honored traditional element: dragons! No, you heard me, I'm celebrating my Thanksgiving with dragons.

 

Be Jealous

But why, you may ask, am I forgoing the traditional turkey and stuffing for a more mythological approach? I dunno, I'm bored, so why not. 

Technically it all started with a movie that is apparently still underrated, given the amount of people I've introduced it to since it released on DVD. I'm talking, of course, of the Dreamworks gem, How to Train Your Dragon.

Don't tell me you don't want three

Seriously, if you haven't seen it yet, what in the world are waiting for? Sure, it's no Shrek, and it's no Pixar movie, but there have by far been worse movies in existence (really, just look at last week's post). It's cliched, but who cares? It's pretty; I'm sorry if you missed the chance to see it in 3D in theaters, but blue ray on a good tv comes pretty close. It sounds freaking awesome

It's hard to just pick one to post, so you're homework is to listen to more!

and ultimately, it's FINALLY a good movie about dragons! I mean, what great dragon movies have we had lately? No, wait, what good movies containing dragons at all have we had lately? 

ok, there's one. A minor character, at best. And before that?

that's the Harry Potter dragon, if you forgot about it too. And before that?

uuummm, not so much. Great books, lousy movie. Before that?

granted, it was awesome when I was 12, and I haven't seen it since, but that alone should be a good indication of lousyness, right?

Anyway, you get the point. We were due for a good dragon movie. Very, very due. 

And to continue my newly created tradition, today Cartoon Network premiered a new movie "Firebreather," about a 16-year-old half human half dragon named Duncan. I was bored, it promised dragons, and so I watched it. 

Honestly, I wasn't expecting very much, and that's exactly what I got. Not very much. But come on, you promise some dragons, at least just make all the "monsters" dragons, not...wierd...demon...things. They did, however, enlist the voice acting of one Dante Basco to play Duncan's friend. You may recall him as the firebending Prince Zuko in the Avatar cartoon, and also as American Dragon: Jake Long (yeah, remember that one?). Basically, Basco can't seem to stay away from those dragon-fire related roles, eh? 

Finally, I've been reading a new book (I know, shock!) that seems like it holds some promise. It's called Starlighter, by Bryan Davis. 

Looks promising, though, right?

I'm not very far in yet, but so far there are two separate stories going on (I can only assume they merge at some point). One involves Jason Masters, who's of the warrior variety in a world that merges sci-fi photon ray guns with classic medieval swordsmanship, and his mission to locate a gateway that may or may not exist. Meanwhile, Koren is a human slave girl in a world ruled by dragons. Real dragons. Real dragons that have more society and civilization (and...slaves) than any dragons I've seen or read about so far, but hey! You can only establish so many rules about mythological creatures, right? Anywho, we'll see how this book goes. In the meantime, go enjoy your new Turkey Day tradition (or just stick to the old ones, I'm not picky). But don't forget to tune in next time for some more average nerdiness!

A Post That Could Only Dream Of Being That Epic

I had a hard time deciding what to post about this week. There hasn't been anything too geek-tastic to give me any jolts of inspiration this week. And then a miracle occurred in the student union theater on campus, where we students get to see wonderful pre-release movies for a dollar: they're showing Scott Pilgrim vs The World!

The tagline speaks the truth

I realize that I'm late to the Scott Pilgrim party (sorry, internet!) but at least I'm attending, right? 

Anyway, it's playing all weekend, and I may or may not start classes on Monday having seen it once each day...shut up. It was great. Well, it started great, anyway. 

If you didn't already know, the movie was based off of a series of graphic novels. I did get a chance to read the books before I saw the movie, but I feel like it might have been better the other way around. Don't get me wrong, it was still an excellent movie, and "the book is always better than the movie," I just felt a little...let down, I guess. Perhaps that's largely due to the fact that they followed the first two books almost completely exactly, even most of the third one. Everything after that just kind of got lost in translation, like they said "Oh, crap, we have to start summarizing some of this or the movie's going to be like 3 hours long!" 

I have to say, though, I loved that they acknowledged the fact that they changed so much. Towards the end, the second time Scott runs into the Chaos Theater, instead of saying something about which album is better, you can hear Comeau say "...based off of them. And the comics are way better than the movie..." which made me giggle a bit. So, if you saw the movie, but haven't read the books, good! There's so much more to get now! If you read the books and haven't seen the movie, go see it! It's still a great movie. If you haven't heard of this Scott Pilgrim phenomenon, I'm just not sure what to do with you ( I mean, if I'VE heard of it, you don't have a lot of excuse, honestly). 

Finally, remember back in post number one, when I mentioned that I dabble in various dorky things, but there's always someone nerdier out there? Here's a good example: I was watching the movie last night, and had the good fortune of sharing the theater with some guy who was just too excited about it. Every joke (and there are so many of them), he'd release this odd wheezy laugh. And sure, the whole audience would laugh at the jokes, but you could ALWAYS hear this guy above everyone else. And after every battle, he'd clap and cheer, like he forgot it was just a movie and that he really just witnessed someone exploding into a bunch of coins. I mean, I enjoyed it too, but I wasn't quite that overcome with emotion at every victory. But, to each his own, I suppose....

On a separate but slightly related note (by which I mean we are still on the topic of books-turned-movies), remember the Hunger Games? Yes, I read the next two, and yes, they were everything I hoped for and more! Well, Lionsgate is officially making the movie, set to release in 2013. WOO! Why can I afford to be excited? Because Suzanne Collins, the genius behind the books, is ALSO set to do the adaptation. There's just something comforting about movies when authors do the adaptation themselves. You know the movie will catch as much of the original vision as possible, and that it will come as close as it can to showing you what the author saw when writing it. Because, you know, otherwise you get jerk-faced director/screenwriters who think THEY understand what it's all about, and, well,

this happens. 

ANYWAY, that won't happen with the hunger games. No word yet on who will play Katniss. Some rumors flying around have suggested that Twilight's Kristin Stewart play the leading lady, a suggestion that made me throw up a little. Other rumors, however, have been suggesting that they cast Kick Ass's Chloe Moretz, a suggestion I think I could approve of. Ultimately, we'll just have to wait and see, but you can bet I'll be sharing updates as they become available!

Anywho, that's all for now. Tune in next week for some more average nerdiness!

Guess Who's Back!

Me...it's me, I'm back.

It's been a while (a little over a week is like 5 years in internet time, studies have been done to prove it, so I'm sorry for making you wait 5 years). It turns out that the Graduate School Beast is a jealous creature, and doesn't appreciate being ignored for a long weekend. So this week has been a maddening attempt to appease it. I barely made it out with all my limbs, but doggonit, I'll update this blog! And by the way, I believe that now D) All of the Above is going to be updated weekly, to avoid any further run ins with the Grad School Beast.

Anywho, this week's post is going to rave on and on about the wonders of a fantastic show on USA Network known as Psych!

Fake Psychic. Real Detectives.

If for some reason you are unfamiliar with this show, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WATCH IT! WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!!

*ahem*

The basic premise is that Sean Spencer, played by James Roday, convinces the Santa Barbara Police Department that he can quickly solve cases due to his psychic powers, all with the help of his best friend and reluctant partner in crime-solving Berton "Gus" Guster, played by Dule Hill. So every week Sean and Gus have wacky crime-solving adventures, make pop culture references, hide a pineapple somewhere in the show, and pretend to be psychic. 

Why do I bring this up now? Partially because new episodes are coming back on November 10th, which is good, because my Wednesday nights have been woefully Psych-less lately. But mostly because earlier this week, I learned why it can rock to go to a huge school. USA randomly decided to do a Psych College Tour, where they picked ten colleges that get to have an advanced screening of the new episode. Guess which school was picked for last Monday night? That's right, mine! 

I won't ruin the new episode for anybody waiting to see it Wednesday night, but I will tell you that it was pretty much awesome. Also, if you remember the episode that Cary Elwes guest starred in, but you could hardly recognize him as the same dude who played Princess Bride's Westley or Robin Hood: Men in Tights because he had let himself go so much, he got so much back in shape. But that's all I'm gonna say. 

But as if that wasn't enough, who surprises us with a personal appearance but James Roday and Dule Hill themselves! Don't believe me? 

BAM! The fuzzy quality proves that I took the picture from a decent yet still too far away seat

So they gave away pineapple pillows, answered various questions from the audience (Dule Hill had auditioned  for a role on House, but we're all glad he didn't get it because then he wouldn't be Gus! And James Roday actually wrote or helped write most of the upcoming episodes, including the season finale), Dule tap danced, and they let a few crazed girl fans give them hugs (no, I wasn't one of them; yes, I'm insanely jealous). 

So, that's all I got for now. The Beast is stirring, and homework is calling. So tune in next week for some more average nerdiness!

*talking about how great filming in Canada is* Roday: Plus, it's Vancouver! So there's, like, weed everywhere!

And here I had been thinking he seemed tired...or sick...or high

Twas the day of the super short post

So today is going to be really short. Why? Because I said so. And also because I embark on a journey through time and space today on a quest to find my undergraduate institution and rescue a few select people from the chains of senior thesis and adventurelessness. Among those to be daringly rescued is our own Cynic, and a bunch of other people who don't have pages for me to link their names to. Hopefully this weekend will just be so jam packed with adventuring that there won't even be time for posting, but I'll check in now and again.

In the meantime, there's this. If you've already seen it, we can now bond over it's greatness. If this was not yet on your radar, you're welcome.



which should immediately be followed by this one:



very astute observations by both genders, I think.

Anyway, that's all for now. Stay tuned for some more average nerdiness!

Florence+The Machine

I figured it's high time to start providing some of that "everything" I keep claiming there's a little bit of. So today I want to share the musical wonder of Florence + the Machine.

The chick with the lungs is Florence, and boy has she got a set of lungs. By which I mean power. As in, she belts out her songs that make you want to sing along (whether or not you can...or should). As for the Machine (everything that's not Florence, which is sometimes just a keyboard played by Florence), they always provide infectious songs that make it hard to sit still, which can be somewhat comical on a crowded bus, I assure you. They are a fairly new group to the US (thank you for sharing with us, England!), but did win a VMA for the video to "Dog Days" earlier this year.



Do I understand it? Heck no, but it's still fun to watch. My favorite is the random little girl with the drum and then the glittery explosions. Because nothing can go wrong with a glittery explosion  : D Also, If you watch the USA show Covert Affairs, then YES, this song accompanied Annie's skydiving in the first episode. I'm told it was also in Eat, Pray, Love, but I have yet to see it so don't take my word for it.

But seriously, this isn't even the best song. There's also "Cosmic Love," and yes, it was also featured on Covert Affairs, which can only make it more awesome.



Listen to it one more time, and I dare you to not think about it for the rest of the day. Finally, there is "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)," which I particularly like because it just has some really cool imagery about being a newcomer in the music industry


There is an official music video, which I suggest you watch, but embedding was disabled by request, so whatever.

Basically every song on her album ("Lungs") is amazing, and Florence writes them all herself (except for "Girl With One Eye," that was a cover), and usually while drunk (no, seriously). So anyway, that's Florence, and if you don't love it on some level, you must be missing a few soul chunks. Stay tuned for more average nerdiness!

-Romeo and Juliet
"A glorified cliche" [yeah, just like The Matrix overuses all those Matrix cliches....wait...]


"a very predictable story" [were you expecting some secret twist that the millions of school plays and reproductions left out?]


"This is probably the most cliche novel ever written. It's boring as well and isn't even in English. Fail!" [oh dear lord, I hope that one was a troll]

My Opinion is that Your Opinion is Wrong. And also dumb

You know all those great classic works of literature? Tom Sawyer, Treasure Island, The Scarlet Letter, Jane Eyre, Romeo and Juliet, Twilight....wait, what?

No, Twilight hasn't been canonized (I firmly believe that the day it is, the apocalypse has come), but it's amazing how many people seem to think it should be, or already is (and also Harry Potter....I might not disagree entirely). Don't believe me? Jump on over to amazon.com real quick, it's ok I'll wait. Once you get there, look up some of the one-star reviews on the classics. Crazy, right? I learned about this phenomenon yesterday while studying at a friend's apartment (hence the not posting) when her roommate joined us to share some of her latest finds. Sometimes the bad reviews are for the particular edition of the book or to tell us that they bought one of the used copies and it still hasn't arrived (wrong place for those reviews, by the way), but a lot are, well, really just kind of dumb. But that's ok. You can be entitled to your own opinion as long as I am entitled to laugh at your expense! 

-Tom Sawyer

"It's not my type of story so I wasn't really interested. I guess it's because it's an old-fashioned book, I'm more into Harry Potter." [honestly, I really want a dollar for every review that claims "but I'm more into Harry Potter,"]

"IT seemed nice to read a known "classic" but this was NO classic it horrible! It had no story, the charaters were lame, the plot was-yuck! and the way the talk was just difficult to understand." [you would know all about talk being difficult to understand, wouldn't you]

"Who cares whether Mark Twain wrote the book or whether Aohohfe Lkahfhagauy wrote the book?" [Is that a plug for a friend of yours?]

"The Most horrible book ive ever heard." [and no, this was not reviewing an audiobook version]

[This one is the entire review, not just an excerpt like the other ones have been]

"omg, Tom sawyer is the worst book ever! believe me it is a dull, boring classic that wont interest anyone!!!" [well, I'm sold! Good thing I read THIS review in particular!]

-The Divine Comedy

"readers should be careful not to misinterpret this as Catholic doctrine." [......was that an issue?]

[I couldn't just choose one part, this one has to be my favorite review so far]

"I bought this expecting a comedy. It isn't funny at all! The author should be sued for calling his book a "divine" comedy. It couldn't even be called a mediocre comedy. It's just boring old Italian stuff about God and the Bible and other stupid boring old people stuff like that. I mean, i guess the part in hell was kinda funny when the people were frozen and stuff but not really, even. The Oxford English Dictionary is way funnier and it's one of the worst books I've ever read. And I thought maybe it would have something about Dante's peak in it but there was nothing about volcanoes. What a misleading title! Don't buy this if you want to be entertained in any way. 

I think they just called it that because they knew it would never sell any copies otherwise." [basically, there are no words for this]

And this is just the beginning! I'll add some one-star reviews to a different book or movie with each post to keep the fun flowing. In the meantime, I have things to grade and programs to write, so stay tuned for some more average nerdiness!

(after a long day of studies and exhaustion)

Jocelyn (whose house I was at): "I keep thinking my bag is the cat. It is not. I should stop trying to pet it..."

The Hunger Games: Paper AWESOMNESS

I decided to start things off right by talking about one of the BEST BOOKS I HAVE READ IN A LONG TIME, The Hunger Games, the first book in a trilogy by Suzanne Collins.

No, I can't tell you about the other two (which are Catching Fire and Mockingjay if you're curious) because I haven't read them yet, but I did finally manage to get a copy of the second one, so guess what I'm doing once this post is live.


Anyway, it's kind of hard to explain too much about the book without giving too much away, and I don't want to ruin it for anybody who plans on reading it. Essentially, the story focuses on a 16 year old girl named Katniss Everdeen. She lives with her mother and little sister in the poorest part of the poorest district of some post-apocalyptic North America. I know, sounds cliche, right? But no, that's pretty much where the cliches end, about two pages into the book. I mean, sure you could find some more if you really wanted to, it's almost impossible not to find some in every created work, but once the story really gets going (which is pretty much immediately), you just don't care if it's cliche. And before you get all gloaty and think you figured it out, no the title is not a metaphor for how the small family deals with their poverty. There is an actual annual event called the Hunger Games. What are the Hunger Games? Pretty horrifying if you ask me, but to get the full effect, the premise and details are best explained and revealed as per Collins' timing, which leads me to this next paragraph.


Collins' flair for the perfect dramatic reveal had made her an instant legend on my list (which admittedly only came into existence so that I had a list to put her on). She hints at something, leaves you wondering what it is for just long enough to come up with some theories of your own, then reveals what it actually is. And let me tell ya, it's usually far more shocking or dramatic than anything YOU were thinking! (well, more than anything I was thinking, at least). However, she manages to make such dramatic reveals with nice subtlety, rather than that melodramatic flair that makes you want to go "dun dun DUUUUNNN!!!!"


Yeah, like that

 I think part of it is the way she only gives you EXACTLY the amount of exposition you need to follow what's happening at that moment. Sure, you still have some questions, but you know that you'll get your answers when it's more relevant to the story.

If you're still not sure about it, consider this: the first two chapters made me cry a little. No, I'm serious. I have been known to get misty eyed for some movies, perhaps even shed a tear, but never for a book. Something about hearing a scene described by my own inner monologue takes away some of the power of the moment, I guess. I mean, come on, it's not like I'm Morgan Freeman (I bet life is an intense experience for him, getting to hear everything narrated by Morgan Freeman...) And yet, halfway through the second chapter, I realized I couldn't see straight because my eyes were getting all teary. It was THAT intense, even WITHOUT the Freeman. Well, maybe that's just me, but doggonit, I'll give mad props to any book that can suck me in so deeply I shed a tear.

Finally, after all the good storytelling is over, you realize you were just given a healthy dose of social commentary, too. That's the best kind of book, in my opinion, the kind that can teach you something without you even realizing it. Then you still think you're just getting a brain vacation between busy school or work assignment, and then you realize that you've gained a new perspective on the world. Now, if we can only manage to make textbooks and journal articles work this way too.....

Anyway, that's all I'm going to say about that. Stay tuned for more average nerdiness!

Hello and Welcome!

What? You want more? I already welcomed you in the title!

Ok, ok. Thank you taking some time out of your oh-so-busy (I'm assuming) internet perusing schedule to read another new blog. Or, thank you for pausing long enough to have read this far while you were cycling through what the "next blog" button had to offer. Really, I do feel kind of honored.

But let's cut to the chase, shall we? You're probably asking yourself "Hmm, what does this blog have to offer that my current list of reading material doesn't?" And my answer is a profound: 0.o what are you asking me for?

But here's what I offer: A little bit of everything. Yeah, vague. That's how I roll. Seriously, though, while I'm known to dabble in most if not all things nerdy in this world (yeah that's right, I'm talking sci-fi, fantasy, comic book, internet, cinema, theater, anime, music, video game, literary, science, math, and general academia nerd-dom), I've learned over the years that I just spread my interests too thin. So while I have a deep appreciation for all the aforementioned things, I can name at least one individual for each category who can easily out-nerd me, no contest.

Then I said to myself, "Self, what if you just told that percentage of the population who cares to listen about the average amounts you know of every category you dabble in, rather than trying to find a way to claim some expertise in just one category?" And then I refrained from talking back to myself, because they say that answering those voices in your head leads to, or is a sign of, insanity.

AND THUS "D) All of the Above" WAS BORN *cue all the proper epic thematic elements*

*ahem* So yeah. And now you're reading it. Presumably. And if you continue reading it, I'll provide for you regular increments of, well, everything. (and by "regular increments," I'm thinking daily for now, just to give those potential readers something to potentially read, and then adjusting as I and my grad student life see fit). Because not everybody knows everything about something, but a lot of people know something about a lot of things. Ok, yeah, that was totally campy, but you get my drift. Basically, there can only be one biggest fan of something, and who can they relate to in the end? Just themselves; it's lonely at the top. I'm here to represent the rest of the fan base, the people who get most of the jokes and have seen or read most of the blahs and spinoff blahs, but are also a little proud of the fact that there's always someone nerdier out there. Or maybe that's just me. Either way, should be fun!

So, that said, I'll just end today's post with a POP QUIZ! (oh geez, relax, this isn't your pre-finals nightmare, just my sad attempt at wit, sheesh). Ready? Here we go!

You can check back regularly for various posts about:
A) Movies/Tv
B) Music
C) Everything else I listed that isn't movies, tv, or music
D) All of the Above

Pencils down, time's up! Let's see how you did; If you guessed A, B, or C...well you're right on a technicality because the right answer does indeed include A, B, and C and yet is still always marked wrong on a scantron. Now how's that for irony...or oxymoron....or something. Anyway, big surprise, the answer's D) All of the Above (badum psshh)

So look for the next post. It'll have actual stuff as opposed to a crazy long introduction. Unless you prefer such intro-related things, in which case I can no longer help. Buh-bye.

Stats professor one day in class: "I've ALWAYS got my nerd on!!!"