No, Twilight hasn't been canonized (I firmly believe that the day it is, the apocalypse has come), but it's amazing how many people seem to think it should be, or already is (and also Harry Potter....I might not disagree entirely). Don't believe me? Jump on over to amazon.com real quick, it's ok I'll wait. Once you get there, look up some of the one-star reviews on the classics. Crazy, right? I learned about this phenomenon yesterday while studying at a friend's apartment (hence the not posting) when her roommate joined us to share some of her latest finds. Sometimes the bad reviews are for the particular edition of the book or to tell us that they bought one of the used copies and it still hasn't arrived (wrong place for those reviews, by the way), but a lot are, well, really just kind of dumb. But that's ok. You can be entitled to your own opinion as long as I am entitled to laugh at your expense!
-Tom Sawyer
"It's not my type of story so I wasn't really interested. I guess it's because it's an old-fashioned book, I'm more into Harry Potter." [honestly, I really want a dollar for every review that claims "but I'm more into Harry Potter,"]
"IT seemed nice to read a known "classic" but this was NO classic it horrible! It had no story, the charaters were lame, the plot was-yuck! and the way the talk was just difficult to understand." [you would know all about talk being difficult to understand, wouldn't you]
"Who cares whether Mark Twain wrote the book or whether Aohohfe Lkahfhagauy wrote the book?" [Is that a plug for a friend of yours?]
"The Most horrible book ive ever heard." [and no, this was not reviewing an audiobook version]
[This one is the entire review, not just an excerpt like the other ones have been]
"omg, Tom sawyer is the worst book ever! believe me it is a dull, boring classic that wont interest anyone!!!" [well, I'm sold! Good thing I read THIS review in particular!]
-The Divine Comedy
"readers should be careful not to misinterpret this as Catholic doctrine." [......was that an issue?]
[I couldn't just choose one part, this one has to be my favorite review so far]
"I bought this expecting a comedy. It isn't funny at all! The author should be sued for calling his book a "divine" comedy. It couldn't even be called a mediocre comedy. It's just boring old Italian stuff about God and the Bible and other stupid boring old people stuff like that. I mean, i guess the part in hell was kinda funny when the people were frozen and stuff but not really, even. The Oxford English Dictionary is way funnier and it's one of the worst books I've ever read. And I thought maybe it would have something about Dante's peak in it but there was nothing about volcanoes. What a misleading title! Don't buy this if you want to be entertained in any way.
I think they just called it that because they knew it would never sell any copies otherwise." [basically, there are no words for this]
And this is just the beginning! I'll add some one-star reviews to a different book or movie with each post to keep the fun flowing. In the meantime, I have things to grade and programs to write, so stay tuned for some more average nerdiness!
(after a long day of studies and exhaustion)
Jocelyn (whose house I was at): "I keep thinking my bag is the cat. It is not. I should stop trying to pet it..."
I suspect half of these are trolls. But my, are they ever fun!
ReplyDeleteI dunno, a lot of them let you know that they only read the book because school said to, and oh the torture that entailed, while the rest try to assure you that they are not just some kid in school with no appreciation for good literature (which is apparently only Harry Potter).
ReplyDeleteThe stuff about the Divine Comedy hurt me the most because I love it so. I don't need to know these people exist
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